Revenge

Another piece of fiction… comments are appreciated!

I took a deep breath, and did it. Took the plunge! I inserted that injection with the poison inside my veins and slowly lay down on my bed.

‘My death bed!’ I thought!

As I felt the pain shoot through my arm and into the rest of the body, I closed my eyes. Partly out of pain, partly out of the calm I was looking forward to. Amidst the head-rush, everything went dark.

~~~

I woke up rubbing my eyes. Suddenly it dawned on me. I WOKE UP! I should not have woken up! I had just committed suicide! Or the night before. I did not know what state I was in, because everything around me was bit of a haze. I was still in my room, and though everything was the same, it all looked different. It felt different!

There was no tunnel of light. There was no flashback of all my memories. There was no cool breeze. There was no comforting faces of angels. All those things I had been expecting had disappointed me. Yet there I was, in the old normality, and yet it did not feel right!

I gazed at my hands. At the point where I had punctured myself to insert the poison. There was no apparent mark. I got up and found no traces of the injection I had thrown to the floor last night. It did not just feel different, something WAS different.

Maybe it was not. I had just been humiliated by life the night before, and now death had failed to embrace me as well. Where was I to go. I had been painfully dumped by the girl of my dreams, and as that pain was beginning to settle in everything else around me had started to fall down. Work, friends, family, every thing seemed to be distant and a stranger. Not feeling the need to live any more, I had decided to end my life.

I could not believe it. I simply could not! Why had I not died? Why was everything feeling so different. The poison I had tried was definitely potent. If one survived it meant devastating side effects. Loss of senses, mental abilities, as well as motor control. A survivor was not a survivor. A survivor was nothing but a vegetable!

As these thoughts began to phase out I was once again taken over by the grief and pain of yesterday. The last contact with her. The family issues that had been haunting my every emotion since a long time. The friends who had stabbed my back at the first opportunity they had had. But hurt the most was her ending everything all of a sudden. It hurt like hell. I could feel the pain rising within my chest again.

I decided it was about time I went to work. Took a shower and all that routine that kept me sane. As I tried to carry out my daily routines I just could not get the feeling out of my head. The feeling of everything being different.

As I came back to my room from the bathroom to set myself up the unexpected occurred. As if through a window in space, I could see myself lying on the bed. DEAD! Pale and almost blue, blood dripping out of my mouth. I felt my heart race at the sight. I had committed suicide but the very sight made me sick. Without a warning, the image disappeared, and I did not see that any more.

Startled by the sight I turned around only to hit something. I fell to the ground, trying to run out in this moment of utter shock. I looked around but nothing was there. What had I hit? I got up and tried again but I fell to the floor again. It was as if I kept hitting an invisible wall. Or some being that kept pushing me back. As I lay on the floor I screamed in utter desperation.

~~~

When I came to she was by my pillow. I was in the room again, on my bed, and she seemed to be attending me.

‘Who are you?’ I tried to ask her. Tried to scream, tried to shout. Only a very weak voice emerged from within my lips.

‘I am… hmm… guardian angel… yea… that’s what you guys call us… guardian angels… I am your guardian angel…!’

‘Why are you here? Am I dead? Is this what it is like?’

‘You are not dead… but you are not alive either!’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘You committed suicide. You committed yourself to us. You are not dead, but you are not alive either. You are just part of a new world now. It is the same as your old one, apart from the fact that when you committed suicide you killed the main cause in the process.’

My thoughts immediately went to her.

‘Yes, you have killed her! She is dead. Had a heart attack last night. Nobody knows what the reason was, and nobody will ever find out that it was you committing the suicide that killed her.’

But… but… but… I struggled to speak.

‘Suicide is no joke… but it is not death either. There is a reason why it has always been looked down upon. It is the easiest way to murder. The perfect crime if you may! You have killed her! She is dead…’

I still struggled to speak. I could feel the blood drain from my face. I knew if I had looked at myself in a mirror it would have been a ghastly white.

‘ I was only here to give you that information. It is a wonder we are assigned to all people who commit suicide! The whole ‘different’ feeling you have is just nausea from last night’s experience. It will heal soon.’

‘But what about all those people who DID commit suicide and succeed???’

She laughed right at my face.

‘Oh my innocent friend. You still have not grasped half the truth of your existence have you! The world revolves around you. Each and every one of you! Those stories, those news, those experiences, are just fed to you. It is all about you. All around you. This is all a fake world to keep you amused, till the day you grasp the ultimate truth, and pass on to the next level!’

Is this some kind of game? She made absolutely no sense. I had entertained such thoughts at different phases of my life, but never given any serious thought to it. How could it be?

‘I have said too much so I have to leave. Just remember. You killed yourself and as a result a part of you died. SHE DIED!’

Due to some weird reason, I smiled to myself as she slowly dissolved into the surrounding air. I had killed her, and yet suddenly I felt totally relaxed, totally happy. I had killed her!

‘I killed you!’ I said with an evil grin on my face! I had done it. I had had my ultimate revenge.